If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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