Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
