Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
