We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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