I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
