Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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