First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
