Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
love makes seman taste better
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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