So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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