She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
