I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
