I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
