I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
