if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
