mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
