Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I supernannyed him into submission
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
