It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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