I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
