we made out on top of his cat.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
