How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
