so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
