just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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