I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
