im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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