hotel room ftw
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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