Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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