Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I want a musical about memes.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
