Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
