I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
