I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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