I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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