scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize