how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
