Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
time to smoke my breakfast
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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