I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
