did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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