ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
