But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just high enough for therapy.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
