yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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