I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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