New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
