I think I just saw someone hide a body.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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