so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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