She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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