I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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