If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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