This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So apparently I’m into choking now
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
