apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
