I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
