wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
