WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
