Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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