I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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