i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
