no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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