I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You have to summon your inner elephant
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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