didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
