Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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