Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
