found the other keg... it's in the tree
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
