so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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